introducing............

hi, well i suppose i should introduce myself a bit first. Im sarah, im overweight, im 30, i have two kids. There thats the first things you would know about me if you saw me in the street (well perhaps you wouldnt know my name, i dont randomly tell it to everyone i see) But the thing is thats what you would see, maybe you would make assumptions about why i am overweight, maybe you would feel sorry for me or perhaps you are a fellow fatty too and we would look at each other give a smile, the one that says i feel your pain, lets make friends so neither of us has to be the fat one !!!!
So why am i overweight ????? good question, do i gorge myself having a whole loaf of bread toasted for breakfast and followed by five quarterpounders for lunch ???? am i a secret midnight eater, sneaking to the fridge at the strike of 12 shoving down the first thing i get my hands on ? No but i do have the potential to be if i wanted. My problems with my weight are many, ranging from mild annorexia as a teen to being so lazy i have spent full days sat in front of the T.V watch cbeebies on a loop so my son entertains himself while i facebook. That makes me fully disgusted with myself and even though its only happened a few times the feeling of getting to school run pick up time and realising i have got nothing to show for my day will stay with me for some time.
Last xmas i hit a real milestone, i turned 30. I didnt have a party, i didnt feel i was worthy. Because for the last ten years i have been over weight. I gave birth the day after my 20th birthday and from that day to this every morning i have woken up thinking the same thing. IM FAT. What a waste of ten years of thoughts, its not just the mornings i think it, reguarly throughout the day the thought pops into my head, getting out the car IM FAT, going into tesco IM FAT parents evening IM FAT opening the front door IM FAT taking the kids to the park IM FAT. You get the point ????? It never goes away. Im sure most normal people by now would have done something about it, probably would have done it ages ago. I have tried but never really got anywhere. I know all the diets, i have the dvds, i have even joined the gym a few times, i have running shoes an exercise ball and a mat. Im still FAT though. I know what i need to do, i could even work as a personal trainer for the amount of fat busting/get fit tips i know.
So here i am, blogging ! im hoping that blogging about it will help because tomorrow im starting my challenge. not a diet though cos they dont work for me. But i am going to be more pro-active about my situation. Move more- eat better. Now i have said it i will have to do it. Im looking to lose about 4 stone. I dont actually know for sure how much i weigh now but i have put on more than a few inches since i last weighed myself, so im hazarding a guess at around 14st 7lb although this may be a little optimistic. Im not looking to be a waif i just want to feel fitter, and look better in my clothes. I tend to carry most of my weight around the middle gigving me a pregnant look ( works well on the tube) which is another reason for my sudden realisation that i cant wait for it to fall off on its own. I read somewhere that women carrying weight around the middle are more likely to have a heart attack. i have kids and i dont want to die yet.
I want people to read this blog and feel inspired, offer advice if you have it but most of all i need support and an arse kicking as soon as i start to flag. i will learn how to put pictures on here and am hoping to update weekly with images of my hopefully changing body, i will weigh myself and get a proper start weight down to so i can track what works and what doesnt.
So thats it for now, will be updating reguarly please check back for progress xxxxxx